Happy Birthday, Dad!

Knowing my Dad just seeing this title is making him cringe.  Yes Dad, this whole post is about you.  


How will this wonderfully selfless man spend his birthday today?  Here with my mom, me and the kids.  He'll get here at 7:45am and leave around 6:00pm.  This has been the story of his life lately (since my hand surgery) and more or less for the past year (since I got pregnant).  He'll play with Fiona, give her horsey rides (yup, the same ones I got when I was a little girl), kiss up Euan and give him the hiccups.  We'll visit about anything and everything (I've learned lots of new things about my Dad in the past year and really enjoyed our conversations) and he'll wash diapers, dishes and maybe even the floors.  He might sit down if I tell him he should take a break for a minute, but he'll be folding clothes or stuffing diapers when he does.  If it wasn't raining he'd probably mow the lawn.  Before he and my mom leaves they'll make sure we have dinner ready and no they won't even eat with us (I ask....they say no).  


I am blessed to have this outstanding man as my Dad.  He is everything I could ask for as a Dad and Grandpa.  I am so very grateful he has put his own life on hold to help us.  Knowing my Dad, he didn't think twice about it.  Thank you for all you've done and continue to do for us.  I love you!  

2 Steps Back

Meet Big Red.

Long story short.  I first noticed popping (tendon moving out of its tunnel over the bone) in my wrist on September 17th.  I talked to the Doc and OT.  I stopped wrist exercises and got a new brace in hopes to alleviate this problem.  It helped a little but the popping kept happening.  This morning I called the Doc and we decided more immobilization was needed.  I see the Doc again next Monday.  I'm hoping for progress by then.  The plus side is I'm always wearing Badger colors.  Yes I drove home before realizing it wasn't the smartest thing I could have done.

*Dictated by me with Ryan working the keyboard.

Hand on the mend....

2 1/2 weeks post-op

The surgery on my hand was a success!  Recovery is slower than I'd like.  The pain is MUCH better since surgery.  It is still a bit painful but overall better.  More localized numbness to my thumb and pointer finger but that should improve.  Saturday when I was showering I noticed a pop/snap in my wrist - which I later learned is the tendon snapping over the bone out of the tunnel.  It has sporadically happened since and has set me back in my therapy (going 1-2x per week) and my return to work.  Boo.  My biggest complaint is the 3 pound weight limit (until 6 weeks post-op) which of course doesn't allow me to pick up either of my kids.  I can hold them if they are handed to me but very carefully and briefly.  So of course a big thank you to my parents who are essentially living here again these days.  I am so very thankful for you both. 

Since typing is not all that comfortable.....that is all from me! 

Surgery tomorrow!

I'm a little nervous about tomorrow.  I'm having surgery to fix my hand (deQuervain's tendinitis).  The surgery essentially releases the fibrous sheath over the tunnel (where the tendons live) which relieves pressure on the tendons.  A few looser fibrous layer will form which will be less constrictive.  This will hopefully take away the pain and numbness!  My doctor said it actually takes him about 10-15 minutes.  So I wonder why I need to be there 60 minutes before surgery? 

I've opted out of the feel good drugs.  If I wasn't breastfeeding I'd take them.  I'll take my ipod instead and listen to some music.  I dusted off my Kindle and bought a new book as I might have a minute or two to read while I am twiddling my thumbs (or thumb).  

I think I'm nervous about the aftermath mostly.  I won't be able to use my hand for a while which of course isn't ideal with a 3 month old and a 2 year old.  I'm also worried because it is my dominant hand....and then my mind goes to crazy places where everything goes wrong.  It's the nurse in me, so I talk myself back from the crazy place.

Anyway, I'll take my nervous energy to bed now.  I'll post when I've had a successful surgery. 

Robbie O'Neil (2/1/51 - 8/18/11)

On Thursday, August 18th the world lost one of the funniest people I've ever known.  My father-in-law, Robbie O'Neil. 

I am almost at a loss for words here.  The range of emotions that I've felt over the past almost 2 weeks (wow, it has already been that long) is incredible. 

I met Robb (I called him Dad) when I was 15 years old.  He was nothing but kind to me and he could make me laugh like no one else could.  His sense of humor was priceless and his one-liners are classic.  When Ryan and I were dating, at dinner (I was 16 years old), Dad threw out one of his famous one-liners and milk came spraying out of my nose.  Dad of course laughed, pointed and said "She's got milk coming out her nose."  It still makes me smile thinking about it. 

The man I got to know loved his family like crazy.  He always told my mother-in-law and his kids (including myself) he loved us.  When I left he always said two things, "Drive safely and I love you." 

Dad loved cars.  I didn't know someone could be as passionate about cars like he could.  His funeral procession was full of classic cars and was lead by two of his cars, a '69 Camaro and '64 Chevy Truck.  He would have loved it. 

The past few years were a struggle for him to put it nicely.  He grappled with alcoholism.  My brother-in-law I think said it best - He couldn't swallow his pride and admit he had a problem.  Watching his downward spiral was awful.  We tried so many times to get him help.  The man we knew was disappearing and it was heart breaking to see.  On some level his passing was odd in the fact that it seems like we had lost the Dad we knew years ago.  It is difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that now there is no longer hope of him conquering the disease.  

Ryan and Matt both spoke at his funeral.  I did not but would have said something like this.  Thank you for making me laugh.  You had the ability to put a smile on anyone's face.  Thank you for raising two great sons.  I will be eternally grateful for you giving me Ryan.  I pray you are at peace now and no longer suffering.  I love you. 

Goodbye 20's, Hello 30's!

Hello 30.  Seems weird.  And yet I have no idea why.  I also feel like I should care more about turning 30.  Maybe I am too busy and tired to care.  When I think about it my 20's were pretty awesome.  I was in college at the best university ever, University of Wisconsin - Madison.  Go Badgers!  I got my first "real" job at Children's Hospital of Wisconsin and still have that great job.  I married the love of my life.  We bought a couch, our first major purchase together....I was so nervous and it was less than $1,000.  We traveled the world, a few times!  We bought a house and I think I was less anxious about that than the couch.  We got new cars.  And of course we had two beautiful children! 

When I think about it, my 30's could seem a bit uneventful in comparison.  And yet with two young kids and Ryan as my hubby I have a feeling my 30's will be just as exciting as my 20's.  I am looking forward to the next decade.   

Back to work!

Euan was 12 weeks old on Monday.  Those were some of the quickest 12 weeks of my life, wow!  This milestone meant it was time to go back to work.  My first day back was Tuesday.  Ending my maternity leave I had mixed emotions.  While I would absolutely love to spend all my time with Fiona and Euan we need insurance so I have to work.  I don't want to dwell on something I can't change so I try to look at the bright side.  I have a job that I really enjoy for a variety of reasons (I work with great people and take care of great kids and families).  It also gets me out of the house which makes me feel adult-like for lack of a better phrase.  I appreciate the time I have with the kids a bit more too. 

I would have to say the first day back was a success.  It was nice to see my friends again and know I can still do my job.  I also was a bit less nervous about leaving the kids.  Probably because my parents are awesome and there couldn't be two better people to care for Fiona & Euan.  There isn't a better feeling than coming home to beautiful smiling faces and a little girl who says "Ma Ma."