Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Making Date Night a Success!

Celebrating 5 years
of marriage (2009).
Canoe Bay
Over the years we've figured out a few things that make date night successful and I thought I'd share what works for us.

1) Pick an appropriate place.  We choose to have date night over dinner.  Trying to have a serious conversation at 6:00pm on a Saturday night at BW3's (while yummy) might not be the best option.  Our favorite date night location is Mia Famiglia in Hales Corners. 
2) Plan ahead.  Make sure you both know when it is and allow enough time for good conversation.  Know where you will be going and if you need a reservation, make one. 
3) Make a list.  If you think you'll forget what you want to talk about write it down or tuck it away in the back of your mind.  We usually always discuss if there is anything we're doing that we would like to improve or anything we really appreciate as well as future short, and long term goals.
4) Put the cell phone away.  Nothing is more important than time with your spouse.  Facebook, friends and work will wait. 
5) Tell your waiter/waitress you are not in a hurry.  We make it clear we are happy to have a slow dinner and not in any rush (best to go later so you don't hold up the whole place of course).  Most good servers will get the hint and leave you be.  If not, tell them to go away. 
6) Have an open mind.  This is the time to bring up anything and everything.  Don't get defensive.  This is your spouse and their feelings and what they are saying is purely out of love for you (if not maybe you should look for a different partner).
7) Listen.  Enough said.
8) Hold hands.  Seems like an automatic way to calm down and connect.  Makes me smile just thinking about it. 

Since having kids I've found a few more things to add to the list:

1) Get a good babysitter.  If you don't trust the person your kids are with you won't be able to enjoy yourself. 
2) Pump before you go.  Any breastfeeding mom can tell you that life is much better when you are not engorged. 
3) Answer the cell phone only if it is the babysitter.  Instead of leaving it in the car, bring it with you but only answer for the babysitter.  Everyone else will wait. 
4) The kids.  Of course you will talk about them but make sure they are not the only topic of discussion.  This is date night after all.
5) Don't stay out too late.  A bit of a late night is fun, but don't close the bar or no one will be pleased with the middle of the night feeding.

We always go home happy and look forward to the next date night.  I'd love to hear what are your favorite things about date night.

Happy Dating!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Dating my husband.

I went on a date over the weekend.....with my husband.  It was really really nice.  We got a great piece of advice before we were married from the priest (who we consider a friend) that married us.  Keep dating.  Always.  Take the time to reconnect.  Don't just go to a movie and not talk to each other.  Even when life is busy and you have kids, don't forget the importance of the relationship between us.  Now, for a guy who has never been married I thought it was good advice then.  Now I think it is excellent advice. 

Date night - Athens (Sept 2006)

Every month we have date night.  We stick to it pretty closely (after each kiddo was born we took a brief hiatus and skipped a month).  Usually we go to dinner and take our time eating and talk.  We discuss anything from putting the toilet seat down to having children.  There are a few things we like to specifically ask or bring up.  Anything you want me to do differently?  Something I should keep doing?  What do you want to do in the next month?  Year?  Obviously this is not the only time we talk about this stuff but we both know we can and it is uninterrupted.  Date night is now more important than ever.  Our lives are busy and full of kids, diapers, dishes, laundry and the list goes on and on.  Remembering to keep our relationship strong needs to be a top priority and it sure is fun when we get the opportunity to do it in a quiet place together! 

So for now I will keep dating my husband.  It is something to look forward to every month....I suggest you try it.  You might learn something new about your partner or yourself.