Surgery tomorrow!

I'm a little nervous about tomorrow.  I'm having surgery to fix my hand (deQuervain's tendinitis).  The surgery essentially releases the fibrous sheath over the tunnel (where the tendons live) which relieves pressure on the tendons.  A few looser fibrous layer will form which will be less constrictive.  This will hopefully take away the pain and numbness!  My doctor said it actually takes him about 10-15 minutes.  So I wonder why I need to be there 60 minutes before surgery? 

I've opted out of the feel good drugs.  If I wasn't breastfeeding I'd take them.  I'll take my ipod instead and listen to some music.  I dusted off my Kindle and bought a new book as I might have a minute or two to read while I am twiddling my thumbs (or thumb).  

I think I'm nervous about the aftermath mostly.  I won't be able to use my hand for a while which of course isn't ideal with a 3 month old and a 2 year old.  I'm also worried because it is my dominant hand....and then my mind goes to crazy places where everything goes wrong.  It's the nurse in me, so I talk myself back from the crazy place.

Anyway, I'll take my nervous energy to bed now.  I'll post when I've had a successful surgery. 

Robbie O'Neil (2/1/51 - 8/18/11)

On Thursday, August 18th the world lost one of the funniest people I've ever known.  My father-in-law, Robbie O'Neil. 

I am almost at a loss for words here.  The range of emotions that I've felt over the past almost 2 weeks (wow, it has already been that long) is incredible. 

I met Robb (I called him Dad) when I was 15 years old.  He was nothing but kind to me and he could make me laugh like no one else could.  His sense of humor was priceless and his one-liners are classic.  When Ryan and I were dating, at dinner (I was 16 years old), Dad threw out one of his famous one-liners and milk came spraying out of my nose.  Dad of course laughed, pointed and said "She's got milk coming out her nose."  It still makes me smile thinking about it. 

The man I got to know loved his family like crazy.  He always told my mother-in-law and his kids (including myself) he loved us.  When I left he always said two things, "Drive safely and I love you." 

Dad loved cars.  I didn't know someone could be as passionate about cars like he could.  His funeral procession was full of classic cars and was lead by two of his cars, a '69 Camaro and '64 Chevy Truck.  He would have loved it. 

The past few years were a struggle for him to put it nicely.  He grappled with alcoholism.  My brother-in-law I think said it best - He couldn't swallow his pride and admit he had a problem.  Watching his downward spiral was awful.  We tried so many times to get him help.  The man we knew was disappearing and it was heart breaking to see.  On some level his passing was odd in the fact that it seems like we had lost the Dad we knew years ago.  It is difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that now there is no longer hope of him conquering the disease.  

Ryan and Matt both spoke at his funeral.  I did not but would have said something like this.  Thank you for making me laugh.  You had the ability to put a smile on anyone's face.  Thank you for raising two great sons.  I will be eternally grateful for you giving me Ryan.  I pray you are at peace now and no longer suffering.  I love you.