Making Date Night a Success!

Celebrating 5 years
of marriage (2009).
Canoe Bay

Over the years we've figured out a few things that make date night successful and I thought I'd share what works for us.

1) Pick an appropriate place.  We choose to have date night over dinner.  Trying to have a serious conversation at 6:00pm on a Saturday night at BW3's (while yummy) might not be the best option.  Our favorite date night location is Mia Famiglia in Hales Corners. 
2) Plan ahead.  Make sure you both know when it is and allow enough time for good conversation.  Know where you will be going and if you need a reservation, make one. 
3) Make a list.  If you think you'll forget what you want to talk about write it down or tuck it away in the back of your mind.  We usually always discuss if there is anything we're doing that we would like to improve or anything we really appreciate as well as future short, and long term goals.
4) Put the cell phone away.  Nothing is more important than time with your spouse.  Facebook, friends and work will wait. 
5) Tell your waiter/waitress you are not in a hurry.  We make it clear we are happy to have a slow dinner and not in any rush (best to go later so you don't hold up the whole place of course).  Most good servers will get the hint and leave you be.  If not, tell them to go away. 
6) Have an open mind.  This is the time to bring up anything and everything.  Don't get defensive.  This is your spouse and their feelings and what they are saying is purely out of love for you (if not maybe you should look for a different partner).
7) Listen.  Enough said.
8) Hold hands.  Seems like an automatic way to calm down and connect.  Makes me smile just thinking about it. 

Since having kids I've found a few more things to add to the list:

1) Get a good babysitter.  If you don't trust the person your kids are with you won't be able to enjoy yourself. 
2) Pump before you go.  Any breastfeeding mom can tell you that life is much better when you are not engorged. 
3) Answer the cell phone only if it is the babysitter.  Instead of leaving it in the car, bring it with you but only answer for the babysitter.  Everyone else will wait. 
4) The kids.  Of course you will talk about them but make sure they are not the only topic of discussion.  This is date night after all.
5) Don't stay out too late.  A bit of a late night is fun, but don't close the bar or no one will be pleased with the middle of the night feeding.

We always go home happy and look forward to the next date night.  I'd love to hear what are your favorite things about date night.

Happy Dating!

Dating my husband.

I went on a date over the weekend.....with my husband.  It was really really nice.  We got a great piece of advice before we were married from the priest (who we consider a friend) that married us.  Keep dating.  Always.  Take the time to reconnect.  Don't just go to a movie and not talk to each other.  Even when life is busy and you have kids, don't forget the importance of the relationship between us.  Now, for a guy who has never been married I thought it was good advice then.  Now I think it is excellent advice. 


Date night - Athens (Sept 2006)



Every month we have date night.  We stick to it pretty closely (after each kiddo was born we took a brief hiatus and skipped a month).  Usually we go to dinner and take our time eating and talk.  We discuss anything from putting the toilet seat down to having children.  There are a few things we like to specifically ask or bring up.  Anything you want me to do differently?  Something I should keep doing?  What do you want to do in the next month?  Year?  Obviously this is not the only time we talk about this stuff but we both know we can and it is uninterrupted.  Date night is now more important than ever.  Our lives are busy and full of kids, diapers, dishes, laundry and the list goes on and on.  Remembering to keep our relationship strong needs to be a top priority and it sure is fun when we get the opportunity to do it in a quiet place together! 

So for now I will keep dating my husband.  It is something to look forward to every month....I suggest you try it.  You might learn something new about your partner or yourself. 

Sleep.

There must be a magic age where the transition occurs from being made to go to sleep and wanting to go to sleep.  This is the latest thought that came to me while feeding Euan at 1am.  I know two things for sure.  Most 23 month olds need helping knowing when to sleep and sometimes it is a fight (yup, Fiona is fighting her nap these days).  And if I can generalize I would say most 29 year olds would love to nap or sleep as long as they can at night. 

I vividly remember one day (I think I must have been in grade school) when my mom told me it was time to go to bed.  There was company at our house and I told her I didn't want to go and would never want to go to sleep at night.  She kindly told me that one day I would be happy to go to bed.  I of course thought she was crazy.  She was right, as she is about many things. 

So when does this transition happen?  High school?  College?  When you start your career?  When you can't sleep in anymore?  After you have kids?  I think it must be different for everyone.  I think for me it happened around early high school.  Feel free to share when it happened for you, I am genuinely curious!

There you have my very random thought of the day.  I think of such interesting things as I doze in and out of sleep. 

Learning to drive stick.

We have two cars, one I know how to drive and one I haven't a clue.  In April we bought a Ford Fiesta and my hubby has always wanted a manual car so I said sure.  I figured I would learn, but knew better than to try while I was puking and prego (however we did go out once in my mother-in-law's car in March for a few brief minutes before I puked).  So here we are in July.  I figured it was time to learn. 

Years ago I had driven a stick car once or twice for the fun of it.  I was ok but never really learned much.  Now I might actually need to get to work in this car, yikes!  I have taken the Fiesta out three times now (by myself) in the neighborhood and learned a few things.    

Things that are important to know.  1) Putting the car into first gear when you think it is third sounds bad and I am guessing isn't good for the car.  2) Shift gears without your foot on the gas.  Ryan tells me he mentioned this before my third time out....I think he didn't.  3) When in doubt put the clutch in.  Or pull over.  4) Trying to get going from a stop sign in second gear doesn't work too well.  First gear seems to work better.  5) Turning into the driveway at 20 mph while in second gear with Ryan in the garage causes him gray hair. 

The most comical part occurred last night when I was at a 4 way stop.  There was a car full of teenage (my best guess) boys.  I had my windows rolled down as did they.  They whistled at me and yelled "hey baby."  I laughed and let them go.  This is what I was thinking,  "Um, yeah, what do you want with an almost 30 year old, mother of two who hasn't showered today, got puked on multiple times and yup I'm pretty sure my left breast is now leaking milk".  Go find a nice girl half my age.  Apparently Ryan is right about one thing, I look cute driving his car. 

A clean bill of health!

Yesterday I had my 6 week postpartum check with my OB.  I had seen her 3 other times since Euan was born but this was the last official check.  Two of the other visits were for blood pressure issues and the last time I was there was for mastitis.  This time everything was perfect including my BP which was 118/76!  Yay!!  My doc and her assistant were joking that I'll have to call just to say hi since they are so used to seeing me every other week if not more often. 

It was really really nice to hear everything was good.  That hasn't happened since I was pregnant, something was always off.  It is also quite amazing to me how much better I feel now than I did while I was pregnant.  The other day my mom and I were talking about them being here to help with Fiona while I was pregnant.  Of course now it seems silly to me, taking care of Fiona alone isn't that hard....then I remembered I could barely care for myself more or less a one year old.  It just reminds me how terrible I felt and what a world of difference it is today.  I am still tired like every new mom is, but I will take that any day of the week! 

Soy free, dairy free = Happy Euan!

My Dad kindly reminded me the other day that I've never updated everyone on how Euan has been doing since I've gone to a restricted diet.  So I figured it was time I did and I am so pleased I have good news to report!

Euan "playing" outside!

I've been dairy & soy free for about 3 weeks now.  It has made a very obvious difference in Euan's life.  He is pooping about 6-7 times per day now which is pretty normal and it isn't pure water (sorry for the poopy details but hey, it's my blog).  He is vomiting less, he still has random spit ups but the big vomiting has stopped.  He doesn't want to eat all the time, he cluster feeds sometimes but is able to go a few hours at a crack.  He is so much happier!!  He doesn't cry and have terrible gas anymore.....YAY!  The whole thing makes me smile.  People ask about my being on a restricted diet and seeing the difference in Euan is worth any Taco Bell I could eat.  

Fiona loving life!

I have two kids with food issues.  Big deal.  They are happy and that is all that matters....we will deal with all the food stuff as it comes.  Happy kids make for a happy Mama! 

The best vacation....ever.

Paradise Found

Not sure if anyone has noticed the background picture of the blog or not but it is one of my very favorite pictures.  For those of you with smaller screens you might only be seeing sky so the photo is to the right.  The beach from Kamares, a city on the island of Sifnos, in Greece.  This was taken in September 2008 when Ryan and I were on the best vacation ever. 

Port City of Kamares, Our Home

Why was it the best?  Because it was an actual vacation!  Half the time vacation is full of plans and museums and activities and you come home exhausted.  These vacations are also good and we've done them.  But this was relaxing in every sense of the word.  We spent 9 nights in this little beach town and there was literally NOTHING to do.  Our biggest stressors on this vacation were which of the 3 places open for lunch should we eat at?  Red or white wine with dinner?  Where on the empty beach would you like to put the towel down?  Which book should I read next?  It was heaven on earth.  We had not a care in the world and we loved every second.  I often drift away to the beach and can feel the warm sun on my skin, the sand underneath me and hear the waves crashing.  It is a vivid memory I can easily bring back and it just makes me smile. 

Our last night.

We're going back.  It might be in 20 years but we will get there.  I have no doubt.  It was a magical time filled with nothing really but each other and paradise.  I highly suggest it. 

For more information on Sifnos or Greece please check out Matt Barrett's Guide to Greece.  It's freakishly detailed and a wonderful resource.  Incidentally, we accompanied his mother on our flight back to the states and had a nice conversation with her in the Athens airport.  Small world.